Okay, so the title sounds worst then what I mean but it’s true. Of course I loved my baby while she was in my tummy, but I didn’t feel that “head over heels” in love feeling until after she was born and in my arms. Even right after she was born I think I was in so much shock that it took me a few minutes to really comprehend how our lives would be forever changed and the amount of love my heart was able to hold.
You would think that being pregnant for 39 weeks would mentally prepare me, but nope.
I would see my friends who were also pregnant at the same time post on social media how “in love” they were with their unborn child. I obviously loved my baby, but “in love?” not sure. I wondered if I was the only one who felt like this? This feeling even made me feel bad for a bit because I was comparing my feelings to the way other women were portraying on the internet. I knew I loved my baby, that was obvious but it was hard for me to believe I was going to be a mother.
I think I didn’t fall in love with her while she was in my tummy because she didn’t seem real. I couldn’t even imagine, no matter how hard I tried how our lives would be with a baby. Even after we saw the ultrasounds, heard her heart beat and even felt her kick it still didn’t register in my brain. It took me having to physically hold her in my arms for reality to set in and once it set in, it was love at first sight.
I honestly didn’t know I could love someone as much as I love my daughter. It’s almost scary, you think you know yourself and then a tiny human enters your life and everything you think you know just went out the window. How can someone you just met overfill your love tank instantly? I mean, you truly don’t even know the person and yet your heart is about to burst with love for them! It’s wild but at the same time such an overwhelming and amazing feeling. My daughter is my everything.
Thanks for reading, internet travelers.